YEAH :D FINALLY :D.
dear wanyu and melanie, please help us review :D, lots of love from liling and huixin :)
"In recent years, the consumption of organic foods has increased as these foods gain popularity among consumers. With the consumers being more educated, they are more likely to make dietary choices which appear healthier, such as consuming organic foods. Organic foods are defined as crops or livestock that are grown without the aid of chemicals such as pesticides or herbicides. Hence, it is believed that consuming them would be healthier since they contain fewer chemicals which may be harmful to human health. However, scientific proof is lacking to show that consuming organic food is indeed beneficial to our health. Furthermore, there have been concerns that more deadly strains of bacteria may be present in these organic foods, possibly causing serious or fatal illnesses for the consumers. As such, doubts have arisen as to whether organic foods are actually safe to consume."
hehe,i like big fonts.
Hi. Eh if u like big fonts why are u typing that sooooo small. LOL.
ReplyDeleteAnw, thanks for the comment on our intro. Here is ours for your intro, following the checklist...
We feel that the starting isn't very interesting, it just leads into the issue but doesn't captivate attention. The second sentence is somewhat repeating the first. Perhaps u can combine the ideas in the two sentences. Same for the part about having fewer chemicals in organic foods.
There's background, definition and controversy but we feel that your stance isn't clear. The last sentence 'As such, doubts have arisen as to whether organic foods are actually safe to consume' sounds like summarising the discussion but not really a stand.
The preview of the structure isn't very clear. Most of the points mentioned are negative and even the positive point is phrased negatively. There's kinda a structure but not clear.
The rest are fine.
Sorry for the late comment. Both of us were out the whole day:P
Melanie and Wanyu